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Timelessness
Jun. 25th, 2014 10:13 pmI've felt darkness
closing in on me
Chilling shadows
surrounding me
I've had the poison
leak into my skin
And it corroded
my heart away
Bled away
Cut away
Dark night of my soul...
This is how I have been feeling lately. It's a darkness that is closing in. My light seems to be getting smaller with each passing day. I thought I would have found another job by now, I thought my bf would have found a better job than his current one. I thought we'd be saving money for our future. At this point in time in my life nothing is going right. It's the dark tunnel that is closing in and seeming into my soul.
My bills are getting paid by my boyfriend. He's officially out of money, next month I have only enough money to pay my car payment. I have a $160 cell phone bill and $150 car insurance bill. I also have credit cards collecting late fees each month. I don't know what to do about this. Jobs here in my area are obviously scarce... I normally am good at finding another job rather quickly. Not this time.
I went 4 weeks without being put on the schedule at my current job, GameStop. This is the first week since then that I am put on the schedule and the total amount of hours for the week I received is 3.5hrs. I can't live anymore. I have become desperate and starting looking at jobs that about an hour away thinking maybe I can find something that will pay enough to cover the cost of driving. No luck yet.
I want to cry but I can't
